Week 13

Every time I write a weekly baby post I think, "Ok, enough, don't do this every week. No one wants to read when the baby gets eyelashes." And then the next week comes around and its like, but wait, this week is really important- vocal chords are growing and the brain is fully formed!

So you will just have to suffer. Today the fetus is 13 weeks 3 days and is almost three inches long. Three inches! The size of a peach! The baby's hair follicles are forming, as well as tooth buds. The better to bite you with, my dear.

This morning we had my 2nd doctor's appointment and we got to hear the heartbeat. Man, that baby's heart is running a race- at 155 beats per minute. Old Wives Tale says that due to the high heart rate- this baby is a girl. We will see in about five weeks.

I am feeling even better than last week- I don't have to eat as frequently anymore and I'm feeling pretty good in the mornings. My favorite food is still orange juice and the most current craving is hot dogs. Don't worry, I nuked them until they were shriveling little sticks of beef. Heaven.

This morning's appointment made it a little more real to me- I mean, I am walking around with a baby inside me! Hello, that is a big deal. I guess we should start thinking about all of the baby stuff we need to buy- crib, car seat, clothes, diapers, bottles, swing, on and on and on. This baby is going to have more stuff than me! ok so that isn't possible, but it will probably come close.

Monday Randoms

I just googled "random" on google images and a picture of Chuck Norris came up. Yeah, that's about right.

Kinda of a random blog today. I guess the only thing these topics have in common is that all of them have been on my mind recently, that's a theme, right? Individually they don't constitute a whole post, but together they bond together like Transformers to make one superblog.

1. I was just at my favorite lunch spot, The Soup Kitchen, to pick up clam chowder and a grilled cheese sammy. Whilst (its a word) I waited for my order to finish, I was not-so-discreetly people watching. This is a skill I acquired while bonding with a few friends (aka Brianne, Kaysen, and Sashelle) sitting in Kaysen's Jetta in the senior lot at EHS. I really feel like I have perfected it over the years..anyway- Across from me were two women- clearly born and raised here in Zion, tall hair, trendy jeans- and their husbands. They were all chatting about carpool and NCAA games and the cheesy breadsticks- and none of them seemed to realize THAT THEY SHOULD ALL BE AT WORK.

How do four adults have the luxury of dining out--at 2 in the afternoon- on a MONDAY. Whatever job they have, I would like it.

2. I have been warned before about the appearance of Fake Spring in Utah, but today I actually witnessed it firsthand. Beautiful and sunny all weekend long- warm enough for me to wear a t-shirt and be perfectly comfortable. This morning? 6 inches of fresh powder on my doorstep. NOT COOL. I'm over it.

3. I miss Diet Pepsi. Breaking up was so difficult...it has been almost five months since I have so much had a sip of DP. Sometimes I just want to get a fountain drink, fill it with ice and soda, and then just inhale the fizzies that jump off the top of the drink. Is that weird? Would it be worth the massive migraine just to drink 32-ounces of heaven?

4. I am in love with my Snoogle.

That's me, by the way. I wear color coordinated pajamas to bed and I requested a feather mullet at my last hair appointment. No, but seriously this is the most amazing pillow ever. I use mine the opposite way, so the long part of the pillow is in the front instead of the back. How did I ever sleep without this thing?

5. I am sorry that you aren't married to my husband because he is the best, and no I will not share. He trudged out into the cold this morning to shovel our stairs and walkway- and to brush off my car. He even backed it in so I didn't have to walk around the back of the car to get in my door. He is the most thoughtful, helpful man I have ever met. He is constantly making sure I am comfortable, or full, (full time job) or the laundry is clean, or the dishes are unloaded. I am one luckly gal.

That's all I guess. Now the words on the page are going to come to life and merge together to form Optimus Prime who will then battle the evil Megatron for Blog Kingdom! Ok sorry I'm done.

Crackberry

So, a couple weeks ago, I mentioned in a letter to McJazzle that I dropped my trusty flip phone and it broke. (Sidenote: my mother ask that I stop referring to the baby as "fetus" as it is "extremely crass.") It was a very sad day in the Sorensen house- that phone had been through our entire dating and married relationship..every text...every phone call. When I realized that I could get a new blackberry pearl relatively free, I totally forgot about my old phone.

A blackberry! With internet! And google and facebook and everything! I was so excited. They overnighted my phone for free which was greatly appreciated considering I felt extremely naked and disconnected from the world. Ever tried being without a cell? It's like going back to 1995, except that I can drive and I'm not rocking stirrup pants.

The phone came, I got it all hooked up and it was perfect. Cold and shiny like a vampire, light and quick like my mom, stimulating and addicting like cocaine.

Of course- there is a catch, there is always a catch. The Blackberry has a different keyboard system than a standard cell phone- its a baby keyboard with about two letters assigned to each key. Now, I don't want to toot my own horn (toot.) but I am an furiously fast texter. I can text while driving, shaving my legs, making dinner- without so much as glancing down to see if things are spelled correctly. I just know.

Enter the new blackberry. I am clumsy and slow. At this point, it would be extremely irresponsible for me to text while driving. I can find the letters okay, but there is this new feature called Predictive Text where the phone tries to guess what I am trying to type. This is fine in theory, but I have some weird words that the blackberry just doesn't know yet. No, I do not want to spell haggle, I want to spell haha! And why does "Um" pop up before "I'm"??? I end up taking five times as long to delete the predicted text and re-type the correct letters for words.

The other day I typed ridiculous and it came up redicuilpus. That isn't even a word! When I try to type "yah" and it comes up "tag" every time. Cmon blackberry I really want this to work out between us!

Slowly, it is learning my settings and my most popular words. Who cares if "lurve" isn't in the dictionary, it's in MY dictionary and that is all that counts. I have a good feeling that if this Blackberry whips itself into shape, we will have a nice long life together.

Week 12

Dear Fetus,

Hey you in there! I don't know if I should call you a girl fetus or a boy fetus yet, so I will just say hey you. I don't want to give you any weird life long complexes about your identity you know.

You have now been incubating in my uterus for 12 wonderful weeks. We are almost 1/3 of the way through this thing! It seems like just yesterday you were the size of a sesame seed, and now you are the size of a lime. Tomorrow you will probably learn to walk and ask to borrow the station wagon. The answer is no.

Fetus- you are over two inches long and you weigh 1/2 ounce now! This week you are learning reflexes. You don't know what that is? Well, its kind of like when your dad takes the last bite off of my plate, my reflex is to smack him in the face. Yours are a little bit different- you can open and close your hands, your toes can curl, and you are swimming laps in some sweet amnio fluid. Your intestines are outside your body, protruding into the umbilical cord but that will all fix itself soon, don't worry. That would really be a problem come Kindergarten.

How am I doing? Why, thank you for asking. Besides growing in every direction, I am feeling pretty good. I mean, I could seriously sleep 29 hours a day and still barely drag myself out of bed in the morning. Some different foods I am consuming: Orange juice by the gallon, Cool Ranch Doritos (sometimes WITH the orange juice. heaven), pineapple, wheat bagels, and airheads.

I should give you a heads up- Grandma wants to name you Dexter. This is coming from a woman who almost named me Mitchell (phew), and will probably present you with a complimentary glue gun before your umbilical cord is cut. You will meet her soon enough- she is cooler than me and will spoil you rotten. Don't worry, we will have the name thing handled by the time you get here. Grandma will understand.

You should also know that your dad is ridiculously in love with you. He talks about you all the time, wonders what you will look like and what kind of little personality you will have. I know he will take such good care of you because he already takes great care of me.

Ok well keep on growin' in there and do your thing. We'll talk more next week when your ears have moved into the right place.

xoxoxox

Momma

Fine- it's Augustus.

What is it with you people always siding with Jazz??

Our naming-the-neighborly-stray-cat poll has finished and the winner is Augustus.

I totally thought Cindy would pull through and win it at the last minute, but alas that did not happen.

Augustus was Jazz's pick. Again. He just threw that out there when I was making the poll. Do I need to remind you of the Nancy debacle? (Part 1 and Part 2.)

Augustus and Nancy. What a pair.

Potat-noes. Get it?

Surprise, another post about food.

So today for lunch I just ate a DELICIOUS pork chop and some potatoes and carrots leftover from yesterday. I just threw a whole bunch of stuff in the crock pot and let it cook while we were at church. That crock pot is is a magical little machine, always turning out better things than I put into it. My mom always used the crock pot on Sundays and now my Sunday seems sad if I don't plug that baby in and put it to work.

Here is where things get complicated. There are only so many things you can put into a crock pot. My husband, still Beardy Jazz, does not like potatoes. He will lie to me and say, "I don't HATE potatoes, they just aren't my favorite." He will play with his potatoes on his plate until they form a mountainous volcano and then make lava out of ketchup. He will also trick me into thinking that he has eaten them, but he has only stuffed them into a roll- out of sight, out of mind.

WHAT AMERICAN MAN DOES NOT LIKE POTATOES? This was not something I knew before our nuptials, he kept it a nice little secret until I was in charge of making dinner nightly. After about two weeks of choking down my potato sides, he finally confessed that he would rather eat dryer lint than force another meal of potatoes.

I tried everything. Baked and loaded, mashed, mashed with garlic, cheesy mashed, twice baked, funeral potatoes, you name it. He will kindly eat a few bites and then rearrange them to look like Mount Rushmore.

Funny, I don't have to ask him to finish his salad, or the green beans, or any vegetable for that matter. Just the carb-loaded deliciousness of a potato. I still cook the occasional potato- mostly just for me because they are so yummy (and again omg seriously how can you not like them) but we tend to make a lot of rice in our kitchen.

Don't tell him that french fries are actually potatoes, he will be ruined.

11 Weeks

Whaaat? A blog face lift! That's right- just in time for Spring. Well in Utah, spring won't be here until May, but that's ok, we can pretend. I love this picture- mostly because its one of the few photos I have of the train of my dress- plus I love the background. I confess, I miss my wedding day kind of a lot. When do we get to do that again? It was FUN.

Tuesday marked the completion of the 11th week of this pregnancy, so we are technically in week 12 now. How they count the whole thing is very confusing and I bet by the time I have 8 to 10 kids I will figure it out. My BabyCenter email told me that the baby is now a size of a fig newton. No, just kidding, he/she is the size of a regular fig, slightly less delicious than a fig newton. (Please don't eat our baby)


All of the baby's vital organs are formed and functioning. Fingernails and toe nails are beginning to form now, as well as teeny tiny tooth buds. The baby's head is about the same size as the rest of its body, and if he/she takes after their daddy, their head will continue to grow to a gargantuan size.

I can definitely see differences in the way my clothes are fitting (zippers? who needs them) and I will inevitably post a baby bump picture in a few weeks when it looks more like a bump and less like a Cafe Rio salad. I'm still in that weird in-between phase where people wonder if I am pregnant or just extra chunky. Its super fun. We are nearing the end of the first trimester and I've noticed that I have had more energy and less thoughts about puking.

I'm not going to lie, so far I really love being pregnant. It is kind of mind blowing to picture a fig baby in my belly moving around and multiplying cells. Whenever I feel guilty for having a lazy Saturday, I remind myself that in that day I probably grew like a couple arms and some legs and worked on producing a brain. It's exhausting.

4:30 in the Afternoon

Every day at 4:30 when I get off of work, I get in my car and start to drive home. Once I hit 1300 East, I call home to talk to my mom. This has become sort of a ritual for the two of us, she expects my call now and wonders where I am if she doesn't hear from me. Once in awhile the phone is busy and I think of the audacity of whoever is calling her during my time slot.

She talks about her sewing projects, I vent about work, and we discuss fetus related topics. Sometimes we cry about missing Fluffs. Sometimes we laugh about funny internet videos. Sometimes we gab over the current TV show dramas. Honestly, it is one of my favorite times of my day.

By the time I have stopped to get groceries and made it home, we are all caught up- until the next day. Today she was telling me that she had read my latest blog and asked me what we had named the cat in the barn. We have a thing with naming our farm animal neighbors, see here.

Mom told me that she thinks the cat's name is Tom because THE CAT CALLED HER ON THE TELEPHONE AND TOLD HER TO TELL ME THAT ITS NAME WAS TOM. Um, yeah ok Mom sounds good maybe lay off the fabric softener for awhile.

I told her that I would be promptly blogging about her fake phone call from the stray cat next door and she replied:

"Don't you dare blog about this! I'm going to threaten you with your life! Now, you be kind to your web footed friend! Oh that's it I'm not going to call you tomorrow!! Ok fine, bye"

Isn't she the most fun. So now, what are we going to name this cat?

*The poll wil be running for 7 days. Vote for your favorite!

*UPDATE* Mom read the blog and said the following, "I’m going to make you pay!! Honey, you can’t just put what I say on the internet, you don’t have my permission. I might sue you!!"

This cat-

Next door to my house

there is a barn

with some horses

and this cat.

We went for a walk

on a chilly Saturday morning

and found this cat

surveying the land.

Maybe this cat

is Queen of the Farm.

Maybe this cat

is looking for her cat friends.

I don't really know

But I do know

I would love to be this cat

glowing in the sunshine

just sitting in a barn.

Photo of the Week

Look! I got my hair cut! And it is short! It doesn't fit into a ponytail!

Don't worry about my giant chin that is growing exponentially into a thousand more chins. Yeah, I get it, I'm pregnant and I am supposed to eat, but all this food is STICKING to me. Although, it doesn't come as such a surprise- this is nothing new. Here is my conversation with Sabrina where I was reminded of my pre-pregnancy food habits.

Sabrina: So what kind of food are you thinking about right now?

(Keep in mind, its 9:12 AM)

Micci: Well today I am craving an Arby's roast beef sandwich, a salad from Outback, and BBQ lays chips.

Sabrina: Yum! I just ate and you are making me crave that!

Micci: Yeah this fetus has good taste.

Sabrina: How could he/she not with the steak grilling, lobster cracking, rib attacking mother??

Micci: Good point, sister. Touche.

Thanks Sabs for pointing out my apparently passionate love affair with meat.

Now whats for lunch.

10 Weeks

Dear Fetus,

Yesterday you have completed your 10th week! Congratulations on all the growth and forming body parts and stuff. You are now the size of a kumquat, and I'm not going to lie, your daddy had to look that up for me. You are over an inch long and your heart is fully formed now! Your fingers and toes are no longer webbed, unless of course you want to take after Auntie Sabrina.

Fetus, so far I think things have been pretty fair. I have provided you with this womb of mine that you can rent out for about 10 months- and in return you haven't made me barf yet! Horray for that! Mostly you like to squish my bladder and send me running to el bano more frequently than usual. You also are very honest and tell me when you need more food like NOW right this SECOND more FOOD. Your favorites right now are potatoes, cheese, and orange juice. And apples. And pizza.

Also baby, I should warn you about my emotions lately. They are crazy. Last night I dropped my phone and it broke. That resulted in a crying fit that could only be calmed by a horse-sized shot of tranquilizer. Hopefully this will wear off with time. If not, ask your father how to deal with it- he does wonderfully.

Your dad and I are very excited to watch you grow and develop for the next 30 weeks. I hope everything is going well in there and please let me know if you need anything. We keep extra towels in the linen closet and there is cereal in the pantry. Help yourself.

xoxoxo

Momma

3/2/09

BABY Boots
BABY Corn
BABY Carrots
BABY Cub
BABY Whale
MINI Horse
MINI Cooper
MINI Cupcakes

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN EASY PEOPLE. But, it's okay because I honestly can not wait anymore.

Yes, we are expecting a tiny human infant sometime in September. We are so excited, and feel very blessed to have this opportunity.

We found out the same week as Jazz's baptism. It was like call MTV because we are having the Best Week Ever!

Morgan was like, "Uh how come your blog has been so boring lately? You never post and then when you do they are just like average ones."

Thanks Mo.

The reason why the blog has been a little, uh, lackluster lately is because all I want to blog about is going to bed at 9 pm and eating every two hours and unbuttoning the top of my pants and omg what are we going to name it.

And now I can! Jazz and I wanted to wait a while to make sure everything was going well with the pregnancy- and after seeing the doctor last week we feel pretty great. I had an ultrasound and we got to see the baby and the heart beat. Talk about a totally cool moment.

So now I am free to tell you that every single food advertised on TV looks delicious, including that fried fish basket from Long John Silver's or whatever. And also that I can honestly sleep around the clock. ALSO that Jazz has been nothing than 100% supportive and even brings me toast in bed. He is the best. Every time I picture him holding our baby I kind of lose it a little bit. Can you blame me?

Morgan asked me if we are going to have a "weird floating fetus countdown" on our blog page. You know what Morgan? We probably will, just because we CAN.

So here's to our little McJazzle fetus, better blog posts, and me getting fat.