mercies for max

February has sort of slipped by me this year. Not a lot on the calendar, just our regular routine and Valentine's day, nothing major, but all of the sudden it's the 25th and March is just a few days away. I know that February is a special month for congenital heart defect awareness, specifically the 8-14th leading up to Valentine's Day. Last year I sort of "felt the spirit" of the campaign. This year I gotta say, I wanted to crawl into a cave and hide. Part of me wants to be the biggest advocate for the cause, to raise money and awareness, and the other part of me wants to completely ignore it because it's just too painful.

It's been 22 months now. Almost two years. I don't count the days anymore, and sometimes I don't even realize the 24th until it's come and gone. But I've been thinking about my Max lately.

Lincoln asked me last week "Mom when is baby Max gonna come OUT!" Like all frustrated. So I explained to him again about where he is and when we will see him. He told me, "well he never got to come home and play." Those kind of moments with my kids are heartbreaking, and it's all I can do to finish talking with a smile on my face and find a place to cry just for a minute. Lincoln was only two when Max was born, he doesn't remember anything, and the older he gets the more questions he has. I love when he asks me about his brother. My greatest fear is that he will be forgotten.

Linc wanted to know about when he was born, so we opened my laptop and looked through all the pictures while I told him the story. I love his story and I love telling it. Anyway, we were scrolling through pictures and I happened to glance at the picture of the first time I held Linc, after the c-section. The time stamp is 3:42 am. Linc was born at 2:13 am. So an hour and a half after he was born, I finally got to see and hold him while in recovery. At UC Davis, they take the baby right away so I didn't hear him cry or see him or anything. At the time I didn't think anything of it, just disappointed that I missed out on that time because of the c-section in progress.

I thought about if I had delivered Max down there too. An hour and thirty minutes doesn't seem that long before meeting Lincoln. I've had thousands and thousands of hours with Lincoln. But Max? An hour and thirty minutes was more than his whole life. And if I had delivered in Davis, I would have missed the whole thing.

I'm so thankful for those tender mercies that are still becoming apparent to me- knowing that Heavenly Father had his hand in every minute of that baby's life. I'm so thankful that I had to have a c-section with Lincoln, because it gave me life with Max. Just a few minutes, but I'll always be grateful for them.

Anyway, that's been on my mind lately. Coming up on two years and it seems like the longest/shortest time of my life.

Bitzer Socks Sorensen

We are officially a dog family. After our Disney trip, we took a quick after school drive to Vacaville to pick up our puppy. WE HAVE A DOG. It's been two weeks, and I think it's going pretty well? I'm Ron Burgundy?

Isabelle came up with the name Bizter one day after one of her "rest times." The kids love to watch the BBC claymation series Shaun the Sheep- I think Grandpa got us hooked on it. Anyway, the sheep dog in the show is named Bitzer. He takes care of all the naughty sheep and keeps the farm in working order. It was perfect. Socks comes from his white paws- a nickname the breeder gave him and it stuck. Bitzer Socks.

The first few nights (more like a week) we a little rough. He wasn't used to being away from his puppy siblings, he wasn't used to sleeping in his crate. And he cried. We shut the door and ignored it as best we could but someone felt sorry for him and went and laid by his crate several times. I won't name names but it wasn't me. #softie. We are crate training him though and he is in his crate at night and when we are gone. One time I was house sitting for my Aunt and Uncle Chip in Orem- they had a boston terrier? Is that right? Anyway I left him out while we went to church and when I came back he had literally eaten the couch. Like torn CHUNKS out of the back of it and fluff ALL OVER. I see the benefit of a crate, and he's already starting to make it a home base sort of.

A couple weeks in and he is really adjusting to our family. I am getting used to keeping track of him and making sure there is nothing chewable on the floor. Because he LOVES to chew. And he bites a little bit, mostly Lincoln's arms. I don't blame him though because Lincoln is delicious.

All loaded up

welcome home little puppy! 

So we bought this little pop up dog run, we call it The Octagon, We stick him in there to make sure he goes potty or when we need to do something at home and we don't want him eating anything... So we figured it was pretty safe. He's small, ten pounds, not very tall... we put an extra bed in there, water and some toys. We were feeling pretty good about our little arrangement and left him in there while we ran to get a thursday burrito. And when we got home, he was OUT. Sneaky little dog! He bit the side and pulled it in and then JUMPED over the edge? I think? Jazz attached it to a board so it can't do it anymore but once again dogs can not be trusted.

lots of this.

Linc asked, "Mom what happens if he lays an egg?" I love age four.

His first time outside. And his curly tail!

such a good puppy.

he hates wearing his collar.

My crazy children jumped in the 58 degree pool and swam around yesterday. It is February.

So at this point, two weeks in, we are loving him. The kids LOVE HIM. They are really good to keep their bedroom doors shut and they want to feed him and give him toys. They fight over who gets to sit in the big chair with a blankie on their lap for him to sleep on. We are working on the potty training, lately he is nearly 100 percent with liquid but could care less about solids. We will get there. He's smart and he is learning quickly. I'm not gonna lie, I kind of love him. He is soft and cuddly and he loves to sit on my lap. I love that he doesn't bark. It is really fun to have a project, something new in our house to be happy about. 

the rest of it

We were waiting outside Dland before it opened for the day and the kids were just playing with each other all cute and then I DIED. Little chubby toddler hands!

tea cups, like a boss.

 Isabelle was tall and brave enough this trip to try some new rides! She did thunder mountain and it was her NEW FAV. I think she rode it four or five times. She also did Haunted Mansion, and probably would have done splash if it wasn't so cold. Goofy's flight school was another new favorite, she seriously didn't stop giggling the entire time. She also did Indiana too but wasn't too thrilled with it. She doesn't know the story so it was a lot of jerking around and weird dark dusty things. Always new things every time we go!

little buddies waiting for our fantasy faire show

the gang! city select for the win!

All Isabelle wanted in the whole world was cotton candy. I mean, when in Rome, right? (Poor Izzie barely fits in the stroller, I bet she walked on her little legs 90% of the time, even to and from the park, she only hopped in when she got really tired. It's weird that we are approaching the no-stroller phase!)

Probably four of the days we brought in our own lunch. Morgan packed a ton of sliced turkey and cheese, we made sandwiches and ate it with pretzels too. Mom brought homemade bread and made PB and J's too- never a shortage of food. Applesauce pouches, fruit cups, easy things to bring. This is what it looked like when we ate lunch with all the kids. NUGGETS FOR DAYS. TIP: Bring your own water bottle to fill up. We are partial to the metal contigos for the kids and the hydro flask for me- stuff stays cold so much longer. Almost anywhere throughout the park will give free water and ice- they have fill up stations all over too. We just bought adult meals and split them between the kids, saves $$ in the long run. 

Back to CA Advent! Early to the park- ran to Racers to get fast passes and then did Mater a whole bunch until the line filled up. 

More Bear Country. We walked past Doug and Quinn yelled NOO I NEED TO SEE THE DOGGIE! 

Oh Margo I love you.

she is so fun. guys shes really growing up.

Closing out the day on the merry-go-round until the ride literally shut down. 

So initially we were scheduled to drive home on Friday. Thursday came and we were all really sad! We really hate to leave, especially when we are having SO much fun, the weather was perfect, the park wasn't too busy... and Grandpa came through with the best text ever: "Hotel is booked. Have fun. I love to be Santa!" He is THE BEST. So we got a lucky hot dog day. (Always pack an extra outfit or two) Our last day was spent mostly at Disney... We don't always get to visit Tink in Pixie Hollow because the line is LONG and it moves SLOW but we went there almost immediately and only waited a few minutes. This particular Tink was extra good- the girls had really good questions about pixie dust and Terrence and the fireworks and she had smart answers for them. It must be exhausting to be in character like that for long periods of time.

Then we swung over to the princesses and met Cinderella, Belle, and Snow White. This girl was MADE to be snow white her voice was just like the movie. 

these two...

and THIS FACE. holy cow.

quick churro break.

and an afternoon monorail ride

We popped over to CA Adventure to see a friend of ours who drives the Trolley, which was really fun! Did a few things over there and then went back to disney for our last lighted parade. I think Isabelle seriously fell asleep half way through the parade- like straight up sitting there. Linc was awake but just barely- and after the parade we walked home with our sleeping children while the fireworks went off behind us. MAGIC.

Even after a long week in the park, it was hard to leave. We were all really tired, our feet were killing us, headaches and toddler asthma and baby sleep schedules- keeping up with all the little kids- exhausting really. But SO WORTH IT. We drove home the next day, I think I almost cried when I crawled into my own soft bed after a hot shower and clean fresh clothes. 

With out fail, Lincoln has a meltdown on the way home over something so trivial and stupid. Exhibit A- He wants me to drive the car AND ALSO COLOR FOR HIM. Like he is too tired to use his finger to click the colors on the screen and point them onto the pretend airplane. Yikes guys.

My best TIP for Disneyland is go with people you love. Go with people are equally as giddy as you are walking down main street early in the morning, music playing and the whole day before you. We go with big groups, with small groups, we've gone just our little family of four too. Every time is equally as fun. Take time to meet the characters, to walk through the castle, to save a good spot for the parade so the kids can see. Pick a souvenir, wear the cheesy t-shirts, pack comfy shoes. It's all about enjoying yourself and your family and the magic of the park.... It just doesn't get old. Until next time, Disney!

aaaaand back to disneyland

Sometimes you wake up in the morning, and by the evening you are riding tea cups and watching the paint the night parade.

We squeezed in a little disney trip last week- my mom and my sisters and our children. We have annual passes and we reallllly wanted to get our moneys worth before they expire! I know there are a lot of places in California to go- tons of other things to do- but when given the choice, Disney wins every time. What can I say, we are obsessed. Also, I'm about to upload a lot of pictures. Way too many. Probably Morgan and Sabs are the only ones reading this so I'm gonna do what I want and document our trip with one million photos. Whats up sisters.

We left early Sunday morning so we could do a few hours in the park before it closed. Small World was closing for the week so they could de-holiday it and we wanted to ride it before it was down. So glad we made it! I don't think I've ever seen it all bedazzled for Christmas- it was really fun. TIP: Buy dollar store glow things. A whole bunch. The kids really don't know the difference. And then they are easier to keep track of after dark.

right about when he spotted lightning

Day two. One of the few downsides to coming during the off-season is that the park doesn't open until 10 AM. Now, the kids get up about 6. So, do the math and thats a serious chunk of our day waiting for the park to open. Often we were early to the park and waited inside the main gate so we could get to Fantasyland before it was super crowded. TIP: If there is a Magic Morning at either Disneyland or CA Adventure- head to the opposite park. Magic mornings make those parks busier and it's better to steer clear. We had GLORIOUS weather while we were there- probably the best we have ever had.

We are EXCITED.

I could write a whole post about Margo and Lincoln. They are BFFFFFFFFFs. Just constantly by each other and chatting about the most hilarious things. They are just about 20 weeks apart and act like little twins. I really wish they lived next door.

One of my most favorite rides.

The whole group! TIP: this is a great parade spot. Right by the bathrooms near the Alice ride. It is  shaded and not terribly crowded and then also- the bano is right there. Stroller brigade! Quinn is 2 1/2, Grayson is 6 months, Linc is 4, Iz is 6, Archer is 16 months, and Margs is almost 4, 

More parades! We love parades. I think we watched at least one every day. 

Archer's little finger!

We had so much fun. SO MUCH FUN! We just passed around babies and took turns riding all the rides, we wiped faces and changed diapers and shared food and snacks and glow sticks. For as many times as we have done this- we have really dialed it in and know how to be prepared. Also- the older my kids get, the easier these trips are! I didn't have to pack (many) extra clothes, no baby supplies, no diapers... every time we go, it is better and better. Linc of course threw a few epic tantrums, but what trip would be complete without him screaming on the dirty floor somewhere. Sabrina and Mo were really CHAMPS. Disney isn't easy with babies and they just handled it like little baby bosses. And let's be honest, Grandma ran circles around us and fed the kids chocolate and fruit snacks when we weren't looking. She is the best.

DAY THREE. We decided to wear our matching shirts from October because hello! We had them!

Lincoln refused breakfast because he is four and it's his job to make mine harder so yeah he's eating graham crackers at 9 am.

TIP: When the gates open at CA Adventure, either go to Carsland and do Racers or head to the pier and do Toy Story Mania. The line for that one is always long and there are no fast passes- but it's one of our favorite rides!

this is such a perfect picture of Lincoln

Quinn got to meet her favorite - Princess Sofia

blurry- but Margo only went if Linc would hold her hand. Kill me.

We love bear country. You probably won't love bear country if you don't have small or medium sized children. Isabelle earned her senior wilderness explorer badge by passing off six adventures? I think? she was really excited. 

Also, Isabelle was so cute this trip and wanted to take her "own pictures." She would snap a scene and then text it to Jazz back at home and the whole time I'm like hey is she fourteen or what.

By Isabelle

Surprise more parades! Margo's little hand.

Bubbles!

We were pretty wiped out by the time the park closed at 8. Linc fell asleep in the stroller I think every night. When Isabelle is exhausted she gets the giggles- she thought it was pretty funny to pretend to hit Lincoln on the head with her glow thing. This probably isn't funny to anyone else but these are my kids so it's hilarious.