thoughts

I just can't catch up. I keep thinking that after THIS is over or THAT is over things will get back to normal and I will be able to get current on everything. And that just isn't happening! But there is stuff I need to write down and record and I just don't have the time to do it.

I feel like I have my normal plate of responsibilities. Children, housework, keeping up on mail and bills, laundry oh the laundry that never ends. Being a wife. Having a nursing baby. A nursing baby that is now eating solids. Shuttling kids back and forth. Church calling. Our satan dog. Dinner.

And I have room for ONE extra thing. Like a personal thing, that takes my bonus free time. Harp. Exercise. Blog. LipSense stuff. TiVo. AND then SLEEP! Sleep trumps all. Sleep wins every time! So I have this one time slot per day, an hour at most, to do whatever I want to do. And I'm trying to cram a bunch of stuff into that one hour and it's not working so well! Balls are dropping, that's for sure. Sometimes when I swing my legs over the side of the bed to get up in the morning, I just can't BELIEVE it's morning again and there's so. much. to. do. And is this just how it is now? For the next 18+ years?

So this be may of a word vomit post but I gotta get it out.

Isabelle is 7 1/2. The sweetest kid on the planet. Loves art. LOVES do to crafts. She is currently making a book of sketches of animals. Lizards, elephants, cheetas. That sort of thing. Always has a notepad and a pencil near. She says "literally" and "seriously" in almost the correct context. All of her cute little speech differences have resolved themselves, she even says her 'r's now just fine. Her spelling is my favorite. She saves her treats in a napkin and brings them home from school to share. She is getting more opinionated on how I do her hair, and her favorite is just a high pony. She gets in the car after school and just chats my ear off about her teacher and her friends and recess.  Totally has my brain, we think the same way, she plans ahead, lays things out.. is deliberate. We are reading Harry Potter together and Harry is just arriving at school and it's so magical!

Linc with the freckles. Lincoln is really funny, like the stuff he says cracks me up. He is also the King of Time Out, though I think they are occurring less and less. He points with his thumb and his first finger at the same time. Everyday he runs into our room fully dressed with shoes and socks on, ready to go. Not much of a breakfast eater but will eat two PB and J's for lunch. Also when he uses the bathroom for business he has to take all of his clothes off. Like all of them. The way he talks is so cute, I mean yeah he probably needs major speech therapy but I can totally understand all of his language. He rolls his eyes and teases me and makes stink faces. Still carries cars with him a lot of the time, loves TMNT, playing with his bff Ryder, and being outside. I also overheard him the other day telling his cousins that it's okay when you die because after three days everyone comes back to earth and it's really happy. (so cute.)

The kids share a bunk bed now, in Izzie's room. And the plan is to put a crib in Lincoln's room and make that the nursery for awhile... I just can't bring myself to put Thatcher across the house away from me. So he is still in our room where I can hear him breathe and stick his paci in a million times a night. But the big kids sleep in the same room and it's equal parts adorable and frustrating I think. Isabelle says he makes clicking noise in his sleep. She also says he wakes her up too early. But listening to them chat at night or hearing them play together in the morning... that part is pretty great. There is so much about them at this age that I want to remember.

Thatcher! Little love bug. My constant companion. Six months! Half a year! Joyful, happy little baby. Petite, but strong, has a fuzzy little head. The biggest smile ever. I can hardly think about Thatcher without being tearful because I'm just so thankful for him. Just about this time last year we were tip toeing precariously into the second trimester of my pregnancy and just so nervous. He is due for his six month post, yet another thing I'm behind on. (I'll get there!)

And Max. Would be celebrating his third birthday next month. Trying to not think about it but also constantly thinking about it.

These days I'm lucky to get a blog post written, much less get the pictures attached. So this is all ya get! In the last little bit we have visited the very full Shasta Dam, Hiked Whiskeytown falls, seen Lego Batman twice. Had lazy Saturdays, been late to church a bunch, spent a lot of time with visiting family. (Cousins!) Linc and Izzie both jumped in the freezing pool this month! We popped down to spend a weekend with Sabs in her new house, and that was SO fun. Had preschool work days, church activities, spring cleaning and chores. I've eaten too many of those damn mini cadbury eggs. I just need to NOT buy them, because I have no self control. Well, my one free hour is up! Sleep is calling me....

(Jazz just asked me what I was doing, and when I told him I was writing a blog he said, "Oh about something that happened in January?" Bite me.)

Part Two

Disney trip, part two.

I think this was Thursday? Feels a little bit blurry. Early morning to California Adventure- the rush to Toy Story Mania before the line got incredibly long. 

are they not the cutest.

cousins!

Isabelle is the accessory queen. Always has hats/glasses/scarves/jewelry.

Archer LOVES thatcher. Like loves him, wanted to hold him all the time and he would scrunch up his face and say "awwwww baby fatchahhhhh"

the happiest baby

family picture!

 Friday it rained! In all of our days at disney, we have only had a handful of rainy days. I thought it would clear out the park and leave things pretty empty but naw, not so much.

Margo.

spent one million dollars on ponchos

We made it through the week, we maxed out our days, we partied hard and everyone slept really well. I think the best part was seeing all my siblings! We tried hard to get a picture but we were hardly ever in the same place, so many babies and kids and it just didn't happen. Next time for sure!

One night, someone ran to Cheesecake factory and grabbed all of our favorite slices of cheesecake. Most of adults sat in the lobby of the hotel after the kids all went to bed. It felt like cheating, it was so fun! I miss my siblings, some of them live far away and that's hard.

Anyway. Isabelle and Lincoln loved riding the big rides- they did Space and Splash and Racers. I think their favorite is Goofy's Flight School though, honestly they could do that one a hundred times. They also LOVE to meet the characters and get their picture taken. Isabelle has an autograph book and is trying her hardest to get all of her favorite people to sign it. My kids are like big kids, like real people and they have major personalities and I like them. I like hanging out with them, they are so funny. Lincoln is just a HAM he is so hilarious and Isabelle is so sweet and helpful. It's so cute to see the kids with their cousins, sharing and chatting and also fighting and throwing fits. Disney wouldn't be disney without a few fits. (For us, it was Lincoln refusing to wear a poncho. Epic.) Even with the rain it was pretty magical and we were SAD to leave.

Disney download, part 1.

Well Beth called me out at church today for "not posting very often" so today is the day! I'm posting, Beth!

Alright so let me tell you a lil story real quick like.

Ten days before our planned Disney trip last month- I was bending over to put the baby's paci back in as he was falling asleep for nap. It was Friday, the big kids were at school. I had my workout clothes on to hop on the treadmill while he slept. As I bent over, something popped and I legit could not move. I panicked! I couldn't get to my phone, I was in so much pain, the phone was in the other room. Bless Thatcher, I couldn't reach him, he fussed for a lil bit and fell asleep. It took me about 15 minutes to get to my phone in the living room. I called Jazz and my mom and said HELP- I've thrown out my back. Never done anything like that before and I was honestly afraid to move an inch It was so miserable, I couldn't lay down or sit up or move without crying. I even slept on the couch that night and we all know how much I love my bed, so saying that I couldn't get up and get in my bed was a big deal.

I thought I would be good to go after a few days of rest. That weekend I could hardly move at all though!  Jazz had to bring me the baby to me so I could nurse laying down. I cried a lot, felt like a huge baby, I literally did nothing but watch tv and sulk.

By Monday I still wasn't better. Everyone drove my kids around town, my mom came over and picked me up so she could take care of Thatcher. I couldn't lift him. I couldn't sit up. I couldn't change a diaper or shower on my own. It was pretty miserable! I finally got desperate and took muscle relaxers. DESPERATE.

I was feeling a little bit better by Friday- a whole week after I threw it out, five days of around the clock meds. I had a therapy session for my back and then I went to Target by myself for some last minute trip things- my first time out of the house in over a week. Guys, I could barely walk around my favorite shopping center without wanting to die. I came home, collapsed on the couch and CRIED. I knew I couldn't do disneyland. I knew I couldn't pack, drive ten hours, then walk nine miles a day for five days. With a five month old in tow. Impossible. I was so frustrated and discouraged, even the smallest things took a real effort and it was exhausting.

You know how much we love Disney, and this trip was planned for months and months. I had been so looking forward to taking Thatcher to our favorite place on earth, and I know this is silly but I wanted so badly to baby wear him all over that park. It is my FAVORITE. That night, Jazz and my Dad gave me a blessing and we decided to sleep on it and see how we felt the next day.

Saturday I woke up and said- okay, I'm just going to do as much as I can. Pack a little here, lay down. Clean that up, lay down. Pretty soon we were all packed. The house was a tornado mess, and I would normally never leave it in such a state but I had no choice. Jazz had this awesome plan to rent a little scooter for me so I could zip around the park! On Sunday we drove the ten hours south. It wasn't pretty but we made it and I hobbled up to our room.

ANYWAY. Long story still sort of long, we had a fantastic trip, so fun, so glad I went. I did use the moby the whole week and was very sore and stiff but I didn't miss it! I was so happy to be there. And Thatcher was delightful, it was so fun to be toting a baby around again. We had glorious weather and my WHOLE family was there and yeah it was a totally different trip for me but also, my happiest place on earth. I will not take having a healthy body for granted again!

Linc and Margs are bffffffs

kids are fun.

every morning Isabelle made her bed, set out her clothes, and made a todo list of rides. I've never been so proud.

what dinner with a million kids looks like

So everyday we walked to the park (all 25 of us) I drove my sweet ride, scott made minimal comments making fun of me. I would just zip around to the baby center to nurse or whatever. My big kids rode rides with Jazz and all of their uncles and aunts, grandma and grandpa.We mass organized packed lunches this trip- everyone made their own sandwiches. One family brought the gogurts, one family brought chips, one family did fruit, dessert, etc. It worked out so well. Strength in numbers.

little cousin besties

happy baby

accidental matching!

dress up day. it's my fav. 

this baby. good as gold. he's perfect.

post splash. his fav

There was one moment at the park, Wednesday evening I think. It was twilight, we were meeting at my favorite Mexican place, each little family sat at a table and organized their dinner. Thatcher needed a nap and I wrapped him up, probably against my better judgment, and he fell right to sleep. I was so genuinely happy. There was a time I never thought I would have that kind of joy again, like I would just be faking it and going through the motions. But I was so incredibly happy and I just teared up SO THANKFUL for all of my blessings, for making it down to disney, for the warm baby cuddled against me, for my extended family and their children. Cousins and churros and disney music playing in the background. It was the only time I got to wear Thatcher that whole week, and that one hour was the best I felt the whole week.

That's the end! Lol cmon you know me better than that. Part two coming.