Pumpkin Patching

Last weekend we finally made it to the pumpkin patch to pick our pumpkins. We usually have this big preschool field trip and do the hay ride and the corn cannons and the whole nine yards, but Linc had the croup and we missed a whole week of activities. Poor kid. 

Our ER visit...I can't remember the last time he slept on my chest like this. His feet go clear down to my knees- he is huge! And also soft and his ears were all warm. Okay, I'm done.

Anyway, we had a nice morning at the patch last week just the four of us. Any excuse for the kids to wear their boots and they are IN.

 

too sunny. everywhere.

I love this so much- I put in on Instagram and Morgan commented "Their personalities in a picture." and I laughed because OH SO TRUE. Isabelle, always the lady, obedient and sweet. Lincoln over there like YO, I DO WHAT I WANT. Bringin' back the plank.

the lucky pumpkin

Linc totally picked the green squatty one. Again, his that's exactly him.

 After we got our pumpkins, the kids got to why we REALLY came- the $2 rides and games. They waited so patiently for their turn on this giant bouncy slide. I'm thinking we should get one for the back yard really, so practical.

Train ride. More of a "golf cart with trailer" sort of situation but it worked.

tiny hay maze. Linc just started squeezing between them like DUH EVERYONE JUST DO THIS.

Mom I can drive this ALL by myself!

We finished off the day with a trip to MOD, where our pizza was, for the first time ever, subpar. Lincoln threw a tantrum and had to be excused to the car which was not in fact, the first time ever. No family day out is complete without a meltdown, amiright.

The next morning we had our primary program at church. Isabelle had worked really hard to memorize her part and sing the songs. When it was her turn at the pulpit I just got so nervous for her! She's six and still seems so small but she has all the confidence in the world and it makes me soooooo proud to be her mother. She threw me a big thumbs up after she hopped down and I almost exploded. The program went well and is definitely the most entertaining Sunday of the year. Lincoln just majorly grew out of all clothes and is now in a size five pant, size ten shoe and size xs in the boy section. How are both my kids in the BIG KID SECTION! His new church shoes are like little man loafers, I love them. These two are just the best little buddies and every day I am so thankful that they have each other. Tonight we are going to carve up those pumpkins and eat Halloween cookies for dinner in preparation for the Great Sugar Binge of tomorrow.

18 months.

A year and half. Sigh. How can it be 18 months since I held him? And traced his face and felt his skin? Big, big, sigh. A bit closer to seeing him again, I suppose. I looked at pictures of my other kids at 18 months. They seem so little, but so full of personality. I wonder what Max would be like?

We all wrote messages on a pumpkin and took it to Max's Park this week. The kids sprayed his stone with water and we scrubbed all the dirt and grime off. Cleaned it up a bit. Brought our pumpkin over and read our messages to Max. Isabelle wrote "Please don't go, we love you so." She drew a rainbow with herself underneath it, holding Max. Lincoln mostly just scribbled.

we used the timer on the iphone, the kids thought it was amazing. We took a million pictures.

In related news, October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. Which is weird, because I'm pretty much aware of it EVERY month. This time last year we found out we were expecting, just six months to the day after Max was born and died. A whole year has passed, and here we are at the beginning again. I've been pregnant 28 weeks out of the last 52... more than half of the year.

A couple weeks ago, they drew 24 vials of my blood and sent them off for every test under the sun. Thyroid, vitamin deficiencies, chromosomes, and all the blood clotting disorders we were discussing. Pages and pages of information came back... but everything was totally normal. I mean, I'm thrilled I'm healthy, but also I was sort of hoping there was something we could say AHA and be able to fix it. We were so convinced I had a problem and formed clots in the placenta, cutting off blood supply to the baby... but that doesn't seem to be the case. My thyroid is fine. My blood is fine. My chromosomes look awesome and I even got to see what all of mine look like. They look nice. Nice chromosomes.

I sat down with my OB and we had a good talk about everything. The most difficult part moving forward is that we have no idea what caused two second trimester miscarriages back to back, and how to prevent it in the future. So, that is kind of scary. We talked about doing blood thinner shots empirically, like "just in case" but they are sort of risky, especially since I have to have c-sections. We talked about seeing a specialist out of town. We talked about a lot of things. Jazz and I have to decide what to do, and that is tricky, but we are praying HARD about which direction to go. We feel hopeful. It still amazes me that I have two beautiful healthy children here- all babies are miracles. There are so many things that can go wrong, it's amazing that it ever goes right. Proof of our Father in Heaven, and his plan for us.

Happy 18 months to our Max. Missing you today and always. xo

Mermaid Party for Iz

Saturday we celebrated Isabelle's Birthday with a few of the favorite friends. She told me she wanted to wear her mermaid costume to the party- so in the spirit of Halloween we made it a costume party for everyone! She helped me plan the food and it was so cute to see her mind be creative... sea shell mac and cheese, fishes... she was saying things like "we could serve bananas and pretend they are, what are those things called? sea slugs or something?" I love her imagination.

wreath on loan from JaNae!

Hook, Smee, Tick tock croc

So we set up this little makeup station and had Leigh's sister come and do the girls makeup for the fashion show. It was SO cute and they loved getting real eyeshadow and gems and sparklies on their faces. They waited so patiently in line. Little girls are SO fun. 

All done!

Mom is hardcore Halloween, guys.

After everyone had their makeup done, we had a fashion show and the girls won prizes like "sparkliest costume" and "best runway attitude."

hand on the hip!

the boys were a crackup, seriously.

dance party finale

such a good group of little friends!

we love parties!

Isabelle's 6th

Sunday the 4th we celebrated Isabelle's sixth birthday! The day she was born, it was General Conference Sunday and I remember laying in that hospital bed listening to all the talks while labor progressed. She was born late late that night, at 11:33- and had the tiniest little meow cries. Now, every conference reminds me of the day she made me a mother.

I'm sure I've said it before, but Isabelle was a tough newborn. Actually- like her whole first year was a little rough. I think she used up all her fussy because she is genuinely the sweetest and kindest little person in the world. She is considerate and thoughtful and helpful and giving. She is curious and sensitive and asks all kinds of really great questions. I just want ALL good things for her, she is so wonderful.

We spent the day relaxing at home, working on a puzzle way more advanced than we needed to, and eventually ended up at my parents' for brownies and ice cream. (Her request). We just had her party last Satruday, and I'll update that when I have more than one episode of octonauts during which to blog. Hashtag, priorities.

her hair is so long!

just for fun.. Izzie two days old

Also, Isabelle is starting to spell words on her own and it's really adorable to see how she spells things. Monday we came home from school, and everyone went to their rooms for "quiet time" aka my lunch hour. She came out thirty minutes later and said SURPRISE I've been doing my homework this whole time and it's all done! Ohhhhh you are so cute I could squeeze you. 

Usually we do this sheet together and I help her spell but guys I'm never erasing these little words they are perfect. My favorite one is Tishoo Box with a backwards S.

Ruler

Tissue Box

Bed

bath

Towel

Window

Bear

House 

Kangaroo

World

Mud 

Dirt

At six Isabelle:

Has lost 6 teeth

Wears size 6-8 dresses

loves to go to Grandma's

loves waffles 

and grapes

and orange chicken.

She practices violin.

and loves her cousins

tea parties

and anything fancy.

She is working on reading

and pronouncing her 'r's.

She loves Linc 

and never forgets Max in a single prayer.

Isabelle you are perfect!

6 is going to be great.