end of the school year

Isabelle has three days of school left. She's been counting down for like a month now- maybe longer. Lincoln's preschool finished a few weeks ago and now we are just coasting until summer. I always have mixed feelings about the end of the year... I love the freedom of summer. Slow mornings! No packing lunches or doing homework! No mid day pickups. But then also, it's summer. My job as a stay at home mother and Director of Everyone's Lives totally changes- 12 hours every day without school.

We have swim lessons planned- Linc has a two week course and Isabelle a six week junior swim team thing. A lot of swimming. A LOT. It's already going to be 111 this week. I need a maternity swim suit or else I'm going to melt out there. We usually make a summer bucket list too- that always helps with ideas for activities. There are some summer camps through the city and I might get Linc involved a couple.

Since the beginning of the year I've been teaching music to Isabelle's kindergarten class and Kira's TK class just down the hall. Every Tuesday we spend about a half hour learning about rhythm and basic music theory and play with little instruments. It's been SO fun to be in the class weekly and get to the know the kids- I was shocked how quickly they learned things and how they retained them from week to week. They know so much! Treble clef, base clef, quarter note, half note, whole note, dotted half, all the various rests, dynamics, flats and sharps, time signatures, we even started learning solfege. Smart little six year olds.

TK

Izzie's Kindergarten class

Linc has been coming to the classroom too and he seriously thinks he is five years old and part of the group. The kids are really sweet to know him and include him! They all say hi to him and he struts around like he is totally special.

This is from last week- we did a little assembly and I brought in the harp to teach them about my instrument. We had all the kindergarten classes, TK, and two second grade classes. They had great questions like "did you build that" and "how did you get that thing in here."

We have LOVED our kindergarten experience at our school. Isabelle's teacher is SO wonderful- I think it takes a certain type of person to teach 25 five and six year olds for thirty hours a week. Talk about major patience. 

We've also had a couple of fieldtrips the last few weeks. 

Whiskeytown, looking for tadpoles. Isabelle was disappointed we didn't catch any- but one of the other kids' dads went WAY in and got a whole bunch of stuff for the class to look at.

Hi I am six.

Isabelle loves riding the bus. And eating lunch together.

Turtle Bay last week with some of her little buddies.

Linc getting in on the action.

cousin play date after school. Stripes for the win!

and this one just because it's awesome. 

You have any life changing tips for surviving the summer? One of my goals is to REALLY limit screen time- we have access to great outside stuff, we have a million toys and games and puzzles and crafts. Jazz had a good idea- to leave out a bucket of something different every night so the kids can wake up and play instead of whine for morning cartoons. I have very little will power when I am asleep, so we need a plan. I realize that tv can be a great tool and honestly I'm not saying we won't watch TV because YOLO and I'm pregnant/its hot. Just need to keep an eye on things so they don't get willy nilly. We also usually go to SF or Monterey or something but I think our little trips are out for awhile until this baby comes. So I guess what I am saying is come and visit, and bring your swim suit.

fetal echo/anatomy scan

Yesterday was our big ultrasound down at UC Davis. We had a fetal echo on the baby's heart, a meeting with a genetic counselor, and the detailed anatomy scan.

In a nutshell, everything is PERFECT. This baby has all four chambers in his heart. His arteries are connected in the correct places, the blood flow is good. His little spine is formed, his head is measuring right on track, he has these tiny cute bones in his arms and legs. He has two kidneys and a little bladder. Watching the monitor- it just all became real. This is happening! It's working! There is really a baby in there and he's mine and he's growing and perfect.

I think I've been holding my breath for five and a half months--and after our appointments yesterday, I could finally exhale. I cried in relief for this baby and for my family and for Max and everything. I just wasn't sure if this would ever happen again and it's happening!

We had our fetal echo first, and right away I could see four little chambers pumping away. The tech can't really tell you anything until the end, but she was kind and pointed out little things along the way. We met with the pediatric cardiologist at the very end and sat down to go over everything. He was quick to put us out of our misery and tell us that the baby's heart looked totally normal. He went on to ask about Max- he wanted to know more about his defects. We talked and he told us that he has only had one patient born with the trio of defects that Max had- only one patient! After he diagnosed that patient in utero, he did some research and only could find seven recorded cases with those specific defects. We knew all along Max was unique!

We always assumed that Maxwell would not have survived even if we had every intervention and prior knowledge of his condition, but it was really reassuring to hear it from a pediatric cardiologist. Everything went the way it was supposed to go, and I wouldn't go back and change anything.

We later met with an OB/GYN who was also a geneticist? She went over all of our family history and showed us the odds of us having another baby with a cardiac defect. We also talked about the miscarriages and what might have caused them, ultimately she thinks that because all of our tests have come back with no answers, it's likely they weren't compatible pregnancies. Also a relief to know. Just totally interesting.

Our last appointment was the full anatomy scan at their imaging center. It was THOROUGH. I mean, over an hour, they were really careful about getting every picture. The intern took pictures, the tech took pictures, and even the perinatologist came in and scanned a few things. Thorough. We got a huge line of pictures printed off, little shots of feet and toes and spine and profile. He's 1.4 pounds, measuring in the 65th percentile, just doing great.

After all of those appointments, we went to the Cheesecake Factory and celebrated all of our good news and answered prayers. We texted our friends and our family a big ol' HALLELUJAH! I felt so happy!

So here we are! Roughly 16 weeks to go. That seems long but also short! Just through the summer and he will be here. I'm starting to think of other things like a new car seat and like where we are going to put him and just the logistics of bringing home a baby. I know I've been sort of blocking those thoughts for awhile just for self preservation but feeling him kick and move now is so exciting.

Just a few things I want to remember about this pregnancy. Food has to be super HOT or COLD but not in between. Like I had ice cream last week and it wasn't cold enough? I put it back in the freezer in the ice box part and that helped. Weird. All of my maternity clothes are geared for winter so I'm working on that. Someone please create a modest and flattering maternity line for women, please. With sleeves, in neutral colors, with fun details. This summer is going to be hot and I can tell I'm going to be laying under a fan in my underwear a lot.

And just like with our other kids, we are in search of the PERFECT NAME. Always so hard for us! Usually something just clicks towards the end, and we have some ideas but nothing concrete. We gravitate towards multiple syllables, can be shortened into a nickname, goes well with our other kids' names, and doesn't end in -son or -sen.  Go.

Max's Birthday

We celebrated Max's second birthday on Sunday, April 24th. It was low-key... we just did a little cupcake celebration at the cemetery with our family, and we also took a couple dozen cupcakes into the L and D unit at the hospital. 

self timer for the win

Morgan was so kind and did the baking for me which was SO HELPFUL. She's legit pastry chef and they tasted soooooo good. All the kids gathered 'round and sang Happy Birthday- I think it's the only time I cried that day. Just sad, little voices are so sweet...they were so happy to be together and to run around at Max's park.

Sadly, someone has damaged our beautiful bench. Taken a chisel of some sort and hacked off several chunks of granite off the back and one portion of the front. I don't know who would do something like that. It HURT. It hurt me. We have so few things for Max and this was the one tangible thing I felt was for him, and in his honor, and now it's damaged. Because it's one piece of granite from one specific quarry, it can not be repaired. I tried not to let that ruin our little party but it was really sting-ey.

The most emotional part of the day was taking cupcakes up to the hospital. No matter how many times I go back, I just can barely keep it together when we walk through those doors. The nurses are SO kind, and they remembered us...they came out to hug us and talk about Max for a few minutes. Several of the nurses there were our nurses two years ago and it was really good to see them. We told them our baby news and everyone was so excited for us. Hope to see them all again in September!

We had so many friends and family call or text us, bring flowers and cards- just to know he isn't forgotten, it means the world to us. Two years have gone so quickly but at the same time HOW has it been two years since I held that little baby of mine? 

bonus easter post

I forgot to post about a couple of things, but better late than never.

Easter day in Isabelle's kindergarten class. Kindergarten is pretty great... I get to work in the class on Tuesdays and I bring Lincoln with me. All of the kids know him and talk to him and it makes him think that he's kind of a big deal. Isabelle's teacher Mrs. Kikut always includes Linc and makes sure she has enough supplies for him to do whatever project they are working on. I'm gonna miss kindergarten, it's just super fun and the kids are so curious and cute and I have a feeling not all the kids are going to stay so cute. 

We had a little Easter egg hunt down by the playground and hid a couple hundred eggs for the kids. "Hid" is relative because it was basically a patch of grass. The hunt was over quickly but the kids didn't care. Eggs = chocolate.

this is a classic me face.

I picked up the cousins on this particular day too and they are SO CUTE walking out of school together. Holding hands and stuff. 

We also colored eggs at home...basically in our birthday suits and aprons from Aunt Mo. 

Okay Easter was like a month ago. Moving on...