You've had a birthday...

Shout horray!

My brothers have had a lot of birthdays- in fact today is their 28th! My mom has thrown a ton of great parties for them over the years- star wars, ghostbusters, space themes, etc. I remember one particular birthday when we were pretty young, I was 6ish? I'm terrible at remembering ages. (Also I'm terrible at guessing numbers, remember?) Anyway, so they were having a special party with all of their friends, cake and ice cream, presents, toys, etc.

Except I wasn't there. I was sick as a diggity dog, on the floor in the bathroom with my pillow and blanket. I know I was so bummed- I hate missing things, like fun parties with treats. Especially my MOMS parties.

I was so sad and jealous and sick.

And then during the party Sean and Scott came to visit me. They told me about all the fun things they were doing- all the great presents they had opened from their friends. They were excited to eat cake and ice cream and finish their other birthday activities. They felt bad for me, all sad and jealous and sick lying on the bathroom floor, and they wanted to cheer me up.

From behind their backs they presented me with a brand new Slimer figure that they had just received as a birthday present. It was for me- so I would feel better.

Those are the kind of brothers I have.

The kind that are selfless and giving and kind.

I loved that Slimer with all of my heart and soul.

I'm also pretty fond of Sean and Scott. Thanks for my present.

Happy Birthday boys!

1/24/10

The other night I was exhausted and falling asleep in my bed.

It was all dark and quiet and snuggly and perfect.

Suddenly, I heard "pssst. look up."

By the light of our baby monitor, Jazz was making shadow puppets.

So we giggled and played for a few minutes, making dogs and bears and elephants.

Then we remembered how tired we were.

And we fell asleep.

Jazzy, I love that you make me laugh every single day.

Happy 1 Year baptism anniversary!

xo.

got milk.

This might be borderline inappropriate for our family blog, but I did some consultations and we all agreed that it would be okay. Sorry mom if this crosses the line. Also, I apologize for the blog title, I couldn't resist.

When Isabelle was born, we met with a lactation consultant a few times before we left the hospital. By the time we got home, we were really getting the hang of the whole nursing thing. Isabelle was gaining weight, eating like a champ, sleeping well, it was great. And so it continued for 2 1/2 months. She would nurse in the car, at church, friends houses, in the mothers room at Nordstoms-you name it, she could nurse there. It was wonderful! So portable and convenient, I was really enjoying our special bond.

About two weeks ago, Isabelle put up a tiny picket sign and went on strike. She screams and cries every time I go to position her. I've tried several different positions, latches, tricks, and nothing is helping. Its like she has totally forgotten how to eat. I am trying SO HARD (!!) not to be frustrated, but its not easy. It is totally consuming my entire life. We try to nurse, she screams and fights with her tiny baby fists. So, I pump my milk and feed her via bottle. But this is a vicious cycle, as she now prefers the faster flow of the bottle. I can't keep up pumping since it is not as efficient as a nursing baby, and as a result my supply is decreasing.

Honestly, I'm crushed. I have these immense feelings of guilt, like I am totally failing at this important job. I know its not completely my fault, there are other factors contributing to this situation, but it makes me FEEL like its all my fault. I'm not giving up yet- we are still trying every 3 hours to nurse, some attempts are more successful than others, and I have a call in to a local lactation consultant. Four months is a great start for Isabelle, I should really be proud that we have made it this far, but I can't help but be devastated thinking this part of our relationship is prematurely over.

On the bright side, Isabelle is so sweet and adorable, she gets cuter everyday. Today she rolled over about five times. I hate to brag, but I'm pretty sure she is a genius baby, no big deal. We are still working on rolling BACK to her back, she gets kind of stuck on her tummy. Also, she is sporting a baby mullet. She has this tiny fluff patch growing in the back, but not much else. How can something this small and this cute cause so much fuss?!

The post I've been putting off.

I've been procrastinating writing this post because it means I have to get serious about something. You know, weight loss.

I mean, I think I have been milking the I-just-had-a-baby excuse for as long as I can, really.

As I was unpacking all of my clothes into our new closet, I was thinking. Hmm. Why am I unpacking these. These don't fit me. These are much to small. These are not my size. It was sad, because I have some really cute clothes I have collected over the last few years and lately I am wearing lots of pajamas, maternity pants, and sweatshirts. Its hard to have style when you can only wear polyester spandex, know what I mean?

And so, here I am, embarking on my new years Baby Boot Camp. My goal is to lose 25 pounds before our lovely trip to Maui in May. (btw we are going to Maui in May.) I have four months, so about 6 pounds a month, about 1 1/2 pounds a week, which is apparently a healthy rate.

So heres my plan.
1. Workout at least 40 minutes five days a week
2. Low carb, high protein diet (this worked really great for me before)
3. Drink 8 cups of water everyday
4. Shoot for about 8 hours of sleep every night.

Look people, I'm not messing around. I started doing Biggest Loser DVD's. We ordered a Nordic Track treadmill. I bought a lot of eggs. See? Serious business.

I will keep you posted on my progress hopefully weekly- blogging it online will make me more accountable. Is anyone else on board?

Proof it was all worth it:

Hi, I have a new fancy hat.

MIA.

Reasons I have been missing from my blog:

1. Remember that one time I had a baby? Well, she is still here. (and cuter than ever) Time to myself now constitutes 10% of my day. Nuf said.

2. I got sick. Like, really, really sick. The kind of sick where you puke (and I NEVER puke.) I never ever once threw up during my pregnancy with Isabelle, suddenly I get the stomach flu and its like I drank a cocktail of Ipecac and raw chicken juice. (Mom I'm sorry that I'm blogging about barf.) The Sumsion household was a hotzone for awhile while it circulated through most of us, thankfully Isabelle and her rocking immune system did just great.

3. We have moved from Sumsion Paradise into our cozy apartment across town. We stayed with my parents through Christmas to be able to spend time with our family and enjoy the holiday together. Then we stayed a little longer to avoid unpacking. Then we stayed even longer because I was so sick. Then we finally had to buck up and be adults again. Who can blame us? Hot meals, help with laundry and lots of extra hands for baby-holding. It was wonderful. Anyway, the point is that we just got internet up and running this morning at our new place.

How is our new place, you ask? Its lovely. Tons of natural light, lots more space than our Sandy apartment- actually I'm not sure what to do with it all. We are still unpacking and getting everything arranged. Part of me thrives on organizing our stuff and being creative in putting things away. The other part of me wishes I could windardium leviosa everything and just be done with it.

I will not mention how many boxes we have in the garage labelled "Jazz's Junk." It rhymes with spelve.

3 Months

Dear Isabelle,

Isabelle, today you are 3 months old! It feels like I was just writing your 3 week letter, and here we are in the new year, counting your age by months now. At 3 months you weigh in at a petite 10 pounds, 12 ounces, and you are about 22 inches long. You are still rocking your size newborn onesies, and your clothes are mostly size 0-3. I didn't think it was possible for you to get cuter, but you prove me wrong every single day.

Your hair is growing in a little bit more and it gets fuzzy after bath time. Your cheeks are plump and round and I just want to nibble on them all day long. You are so alert and awake, you love to be included in the group and in fact you throw a fit if you think you are missing anything.

You smile at me all the time now- and on New Year's Eve you learned to giggle. You can also use your tiny little baby legs to stand up on my lap, and you love to practice your skills. Probably your greatest recent development is your chatter. You have found your sweet little voice and you coo when when talk to you- we go back and forth discussing important things like food and baths and shoes. You and I had a moment this week that I will never forget as long as I live. It was late one night, I had just finished nursing you before bed, and you stared at me with your bright blue eyes. You smiled your great big gummy smile and we had a conversation for a few minutes, just the two of us. I felt so connected to you, so loved and so grateful for all of the joy you bring to my life.

Sometimes I think of the life ahead of you- how you will grow, what you will be like, what great accomplishments are in store for you, and I get so overwhelmed thinking how incredibly lucky I am to be your mother. I am humbled by your sweet little spirit and the responsibility we have been given.

I love to see you progress and learn and develop and I can't wait to see what the next month brings. Love, love, love you.

xoxoxo

Momma

2009 Roundup

So I know everyone is doing an obligatory 2009-summary-blog and I was totally planning to hop on board...except I don't really want to. If you are reading this post, it is likely that you have been reading awhile and you know what kind of a year we had. If not, that's what archives are for.

Nutshell: Jazz was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we found out we were expecting a baby girl, I got fat, I got fatter, baby girl was born, baby girl won our hearts, we moved to Redding. Bam. Done and done.

Last year when I wrote our 2008 year summary I made some resolutions to relax a bit more, go with the flow, and to have fewer "freak outs" over clutter and other bothersome things in my life. I feel pretty successful in that area- I did laundry a little less often, let the bed be messy on Sundays, spent time with old friends and new friends, and learned a lot of fun recipes. We had an incredible year.

I said that 2009 would be the year for the "small and simple, " but little did I know that we would have a small and not so simple surprise. Isabelle's birth was one of the single greatest moments of our lives, by far, the most significant thing we have ever accomplished together.

This year I have really three things I would like to accomplish:

1. Lose the baby weight. ALL of the baby weight. I did plenty of gaining while pregnant, and now it is time to get serious and do some losing. More to come about this topic...

2. To be sealed in the temple for time and all eternity to my best friend and our little baby

3. Take time out from my daily routine to enjoy my life. Stop to read books with Isabelle, cook a delicious dinner for Jazz, get a pedicure, whatever. Continue to "Find Joy in our Journey."

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season full of treats and lights and family. Here's hoping 2010 lives up to 2009.

Isabelle is being shy. Sadly, this is the best one.