2 Weeks

An update on little Lincoln.

Today we had his 2 week checkup- and he's doing some awesome newborn things. This baby can EAT! Isabelle had a terrible tongue tie and it really interfered with nursing...we should have had it clipped but we didn't really know. Anyway, Lincoln knows what he is doing. I had no idea that feeding a baby could be like this.. and probably because his tummy is full, he sleeps. We have a sleeper! (Well so far. knockonwoodknockonwood.) He eats about every 3 hours during the day, and goes about 5-6 hours at night before we have to wake him to feed him. This is a totally different experience then we had with Isabelle. She was tricky to feed and tricky to get to sleep, bless her tiny little soul. Who knew babies could be so different? (Also, when will I stop comparing them?)

As of today he weighs 8 pounds 1 ounce, an entire pound gain in 13 days. Well done, baby.

Can you tell he is thrilled to be naked.

It is taking us awhile to get used to changing a boy...boys are different. It's kind of like sneaking across a neighbors lawn and not knowing when the sprinklers are going to go off. Have to be quick! There was seriously one morning we had to change all his clothes like four times before we figured out to point all objects down. That helps.

Whoops.

What we know so far is that Lincoln is a sweet, sweet baby. I didn't know how it would be to add another baby into our family when I obviously love my first born so incredibly much- but it's like he was always here with us. 2 weeks has gone by so painfully fast and I am savoring his newborn baby smell and newborn baby soft skin and newborn baby quiet noises.

linc + izzie

I'm convinced Isabelle is the sweetest big sister in the whole world. She has been adorable since we brought baby Lincoln home from the hospital... she brings him tissues and helps burp him and is always concerned wondering, "where baby linc??" Usually he is asleep and she says "Let's WAKE HIM UP." She doesn't understand why her size diapers can't fit him, she likes to stand on a stool while we change him so she can "help." He is the first thing she asks for him the morning and the last thing she checks on before bed.

I think part of the reason the transition is going so well is that Jazz has had the last few weeks off of work. Can you believe it? Two parents home! We are man to man defense here people! He has payed special attention to Isabelle, making sure she has ample playdoh/coloring/outside time while I basically sit around and nurse all day. I forgot how time consuming feeding a baby is- pretty much a full time job. Anyway.

We have two kids. How did that happen.

Baby Linc, five days old. "I hold him!"

She constantly wants to get in his crib/moses basket/ car seat with him.

The Redding grandbabies.

Isabelle was SO proud to introduce him to her cousins. Super smiley.

Leilani, on loan.

One of the cutest things EVER is she likes to sit by me when I am nursing the bebe. She sits on the feet part of the recliner and rests her head on the pillow and just hangs out. Makes my heart explode. "Mama I sit by you?"

She found this size 12 month vest and wore it around for the whole day. And the hat? Major drama when it wouldn't stay on her head while she napped.

Our first outing to Target. We bought animal cookies and baby supplies.. success.

I'm sort of nervous for Jazz to go back to work and I'll have to juggle both babies by myself. Isabelle will inevitably need things while I nurse and I'll have to just figure that out, right? Tell me it's possible!

Love my two babies.

lincoln's arrival, part three

Jazz went with Lincoln while my guts were stuffed back into me and I was stitched up. The surgery took longer than my first one and I was dyiiiing for it to be over. For some reason my arms were killing me and I kept moving them over my head and accidentally ripping my leads off. I heard them call over that the baby was 7 pounds 9 ounces, 19 1/2 inches long, with APGARS of 2 and 9. The 2 is really horrible and I'm not sure what happened there but by five minutes he was pink and perfect. Jazz brought him over to me to look at and it was like I had known him forever. Probably because he looked like a little boy clone of newborn baby Isabelle.

Jazz and I stayed in the recovery area with our new tiny baby for a few hours until I was cleared to go to my room. I ate ice chips and snuggled with little Lincoln and soaked up every moment of his froggy little body on my chest. He really showed signs of wanting to nurse so we hooked him up and I was shocked when he actually latched. I've said before how difficult feeding Isabelle was- I really had no idea that a baby could just come out and know what to do.

Soon I was wheeled into our room where we would be holed up for the next three days with baby Linc. Lucky for us, the hospital wasn’t very busy and we were given a double room so Jazz got a bed! He was thrilled. I’m sure those couch chairs just aren’t as comfy as they look. Actually, they look horrible so I was so thankful he had a bed. At this point, we were both exhauuuuuuusted. Labor was about 36 hours, plus the surgery, plus recovery, and it felt like we had been awake for light years. I know I looked awesome. We had a constant stream of people all day- pediatricians and doctors and birth certificate people so we really didn’t get to sleep until that way later that night. Because Davis is a teaching hospital, we had interns and residents as well as attendings come around to check stuff out. The entire staff was so wonderful the entire time we were there, we were so thankful for all of their help. I’m all for the teaching thing- it was a neat experience to be a part of rounds… I kept looking for Zach Braff to pop up but he didn’t.

Please, no more photos.

About 11 am my mom brought Isabelle to meet her baby brother. She was SO cute and SO excited to see the baby out of my tummy. She needed to check that he had two ears and all his fingers and touch his soft little head. She was also so excited to see me which of course made me cry. I thought it would be painful to be away from her for so long, but somehow it was okay? Like I knew she was having the best time ever at my parents' house, and what better reason to be apart then the birth of a new baby. Of course I thought about her and I missed her, but it didn't hurt my soul like I thought it would.

Mostly she was excited to show me her new tea set. And to offer Lincoln a cup.

Mom took Isabelle back to Redding to stay with her while we were in the hospital, and finally late that night we got to sleep. Oh man, I love to sleep. Eventually they wanted me to get up and walk around and I said HECK NO I just had surgery! But they made me, so I got up and made it to the chair and then started to lose it. I blacked out after taking a shower after Isabelle's birth (which made for an awkward naked rescue.) I had super low blood pressure the whole time I was in the hospital, so I got extra IV fluid and less pressure to get up for the first little while. Percocet was my BFF. Eventually I got to shower which was so heavenly.

(Real quick. Jazz was so, so tired but the second night he went to get mac and cheese from noodles and co for us. When he was picking up the food, the employee asked him, "Do you want silverware?" And Jazz, in his dazed and exhausted state, misunderstood and replied, "What is self aware?" Bless him. It still makes me giggle.)

Lots of people told me that their second c-section was easier to recover from than their first. In my opinion, the first few days are equally as painful. Getting out of bed without a crane is sort of agony, and once they take out your catheter you are BEGGING for it to go back in so you don't have to make bathroom trips. After the first few days, I was much more mobile compared to the first time. I could walk around and sit up easier and by the time we came home I felt so much better. I even slept on my side the second night home which I didn't do for weeks the first time around. 

handsome boys!

Going home!

And now the four of us are home together, adjusting to our new little life. I can't believe how easy it was to love another baby like I love Isabelle. So far he is so mellow and mostly just eats and sleeps, rinse and repeat. He is so soft and he smells so good and he has one wrinkly little ear that flops over just a little bit. His legs are so skinny and he has these tiny elephant wrinkles on his knees. He is a fantastic eater and as a result, sleeps pretty good too! I know he is only ten days old and this is likely to change at some point but it's just a different experience than we had with Izzie. When he is all curled up on my shoulder after he nurses I feel so blessed and so happy with my life.

Some people have told me they are sorry that the vbac attempt wasn't successful. Of course, I would have loved to not have surgery but in no way do I think it wasn't successful. I will forever cherish those two weeks with Isabelle in Sacramento on our "adventure" as long as I live. I now know what it feels like to go into labor, to call my husband and tell him it is time. I got to drive to the hospital in the middle of the night while experiencing contractions. I worked hard and long and got really, really far. I know that I exhausted every possible option before consenting to surgery, and in the end I got a (super cute) healthy and happy baby.

Total success. Would I do it again? 100 times over. Again and again and again, it was such an amazing experience.

lincon's arrival, part two

Part of what I wanted to experience with the trial of labor was the actual labor part. With Isabelle, I was induced with Pitocin and pretty much immediately received an epidural when things got the slightest bit painful. I was afraid of what was to come and I don’t remember contractions, and I certainly didn’t have any on my own.

This time, my body was doing what it was supposed to do. I was so thrilled that things were progressing without any medical intervention, I knew it increased my chances of having a successful VBAC. I felt great. Especially since my hair and makeup were mostly done, suckas!

So I was admitted, given an IV and taken to our large birthing suite. I swear, an elephant could have given birth in that room it was so ginormous. We had an ultrasound to confirm our fears that the tiny baby ninja was indeed posterior- meaning his face was up instead of down. It makes it harder to progress since the baby’s head isn’t pushing down correctly, and it makes for some DELIGHTFUL back labor.

We had a wonderful nurse who was super supportive of our vbac attempt, she is usually the charge nurse and doesn’t always get assigned patients. Lucky for us, that day she was actually on the floor and I know it wasn’t just by accident. For the next three hours I labored on my feet. I don’t know how anyone could labor laying down in a bed, it was MISERY to lay down when they had to check me. Because I had a previous c-section, I had to be on the monitors for my entire labor so we could keep track of the baby’s heartbeat at all times. They have these fancy wireless monitors so I was able to walk around and SWAY and SWAY and SWAY. I’ve always seen women in labor lean on stuff and I never understood why that could actually be comfortable but seriously, it helps.

Hi, I have to wear two gowns so my bum doesn't show.

At noon I was checked and found to be 5 cm dilated. A five! For me that was huge because I never progressed past a four with my first labor after 15 hours on pitocin. Already I was more successful than the first time! There is this line from Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth that says something like ‘your body is not a lemon.’ When I read that, it really connected with me and I kept going back to that during labor. After that point the contractions moved alllllllll into my back. It literally felt like someone was using a backhoe to tear my body in half. Every four minutes I would yell OKAY JAZZ PLEASE GO NOW. And he would rush over and push on my lower back with all of his might until the contraction was over. Good as gold, that man.

I also started to make some quiet noises. Again, I never understood why women made weird moaning noises during labor but for some reason it helps, don’t ask me. Jazz says I sounded like a soft version of that part from Kung Fu Panda where Po says “I love kung fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.” Labor is weird and I seriously wasn’t worried about being embarrassed by saying weird things since basically most of the hospital saw my naked lower half and some point during the experience. Modesty = Totally gone.

We labored like that until 3 when I started dreaming of the epidural. I was checked and was a 6! I was so proud of myself- one that my body was doing awesome and two that I made it that far without pitocin or an epidural. I kept saying, “Look at me go!” High five. Now, please push on my back some more.

About 3:30 I received a wonderful epidural from the tallest anesthesiologist I have ever met. It was enough that I couldn’t feel pain but I could still feel the tightness from the contractions. I realized that I wouldn’t be standing up again until I delivered the baby! Exciting. I had been experiencing contractions for a good 20 hours and most of that was spent on my feet rocking and dancing on my tiptoes. I was tired! But did I tell you they let me eat? Last time I wasn’t allowed food all day and I actually forced Jazz to sneak me a granola bar when no one was looking. This time I was given snacks and meals- graham crackers have never tasted so amazing.

At some point, Jazz ran to the condo to shower super quickly. These are the items that Isabelle put in a bag and sent "for mama"- a leaf, a couple rocks, a lemon she found outside, and her favorite play people. I cried.

Progress was slow… but it was still progress. Normal people dilate about 1 cm every hour- I was averaging 1 cm every 3 hours. At 5:30 I received the tiniest bit of pitocin to regulate my contractions, which helped. By 7 pm I was 7 centimeters. Getting there! Shift change at the hospital, and we got a new set of nurses and doctors. At 8 pm the term “c-section” was thrown at me out of the blue since I was “off the normal labor curve.” I politely declined the on call OB's recommendation of an immediate c-section despite my longer labor, I really wanted the chance to get to a ten and push. We all knew the posterior baby was a problem, and unless he turned or descended we would be looking at surgery. I was fine having surgery as long we had exhausted EVERY POSSIBLE OPTION.

New OB tried to turn the baby around. Of course, the baby was stubborn and would not budge even an inch. Again, doc said in his opinion a section would be the best course. I asked for two more hours. And I prayed for the baby to turn.

At 10 pm I was 8-9 cms but still had a posterior baby. He would not get past a 0 station in the birth canal, meaning basically he would not descend. Doc said he would try to turn him again and he did- quite aggressively. It took a few minutes of wrangling, but the baby finally turned the right way! Everything was working out.

And then we immediately lost his heartbeat. Code was called, nurses and doctors flew in the room. The chief was paged. I was flipped on my side, given oxygen and a shot in my arm to stop my contractions. People were unhooking me and rehooking me to new things in preparation for an emergency c-section. Never before have I cried out in prayer like I did then, pleading to my Heavenly Father for everything to be alright. Jazz stood in the corner, stunned and helpless. An ultrasound machine was wheeled in to find the baby, and after a very long minute the heartbeat came back very, very slowly. I laid on my side and sobbed into my oxygen mask feeling so selfish for wanting to birth this baby MY way and for thinking that I could control anything.

After that it was clear that there would be no more turning the baby, no matter what. I agreed. The pitocin was shut off since I was contracting on my own, and we were given some time to just rest and recover from the situation.

At midnight, my doctors came in to check me again. I was fully dilated and ready to go but the baby was not descending. At all. My doctor explained to me that from what he could tell, my pelvis is shaped differently- that the front is a normal width but the back is very narrow and was not allowing the baby to pass. The term cephalopelvic disproportion was used. It was probably the reason why my babies sit posterior- there is more room in the front and it is more comfortable for them to settle that way. And, as a bonus, when he checked me he found that the baby had turned back to posterior position. He and his team recommended a c-section.

I asked for some time to discuss it with Jazz. We had come so far and I felt so close to the birth I had always wanted, I could not believe that I wasn’t going to experience it. I looked at the empty baby warmer and knew that none of my babies would ever be cleaned off over there while I looked on lovingly from my bed. Jazz held me and kissed me and told me what I good job I had done and I believed him. I had done everything right. I went into labor on my own and labored all day and dilated and did everything that I was supposed to do. There was nothing else I could do to change the fact that my body is shaped in a way that does not allow for a baby to pass through my pelvis. Period.

At 1 am, the doctors reassembled and I consented to the surgery. After the decision was made I felt like a load was taken from my shoulders- relief. Peace. Understanding. Acceptance. Gratitude.

Jazz gave me a quick kiss and I was wheeled into the OR and strapped onto the table. Medicine given, doctors called in, and the surgery underway. Jazz massaged my forehead and talked to me to distract me from the weird feeling of having people’s hands in my abdomen. A few minutes later, time was called and the baby that had spent almost a year inside my body was pulled from me and ushered into the other room for the nicu nurses to examine. I heard him cry.

And just like that, little Lincoln made our family of three into four.

His poor little head was a bit bruised/scratched from all the turning.

Baby Linc, 60 minutes old

lincoln michael's arrival, part one

I have so much to tell you that it's only fair to break it up into three parts. The birth of our second baby was such a memorable experience that I really want to write down all the details because we know I don't have the best memory. So.

I went into labor Thursday night, January 12th.

JaNae and the gang left about five, just after we ate at Noodles and Co for dinner. My favorite. Apparently no one else feels the same? Everyone I take there is like, meh, it’s okay. Whatever, it’s delicious. Anyway, Isabelle and I came back to the Sacramento house to veg before bedtime and I started contracting just like I had the night before. I started timing them, just for fun. And by fun I mean to see if I was in actual labor. 6:00. 6:20. 6:33. 6:58. 7:06. Sort of painful, but not consistent. I assumed that they would peter out about 10 pm just in time for me to get a goodish night’s sleep, exactly as they had the night before.
I blogged, I contemplated baby hiccups, I watched project runway, I set out clothes for the morning and made sure the diaper bag was ready to go. 8:40. 8:54. 9:11. 9:23. 9:40. Closer together but nothing to write home about. I went to bed.

2 AM I woke up to use the bathroom. I noticed I was contracting again. The painful kind. 2:02. 2:11. 2:19. 2:31. It was uncomfortable to lie down so I got up and walked around, stopping to brace myself every few minutes. It felt good to sway so I swayed and I swayed while Isabelle slept peacefully in the other room. 3:15. 3:21. 3:29. Getting closer together. I started of kind of worrying that this might be it and I if I should bother Jazz to come down? The last thing I wanted was for him to get up in the night and drive down only for my labor to be a big fat false alarm. Heaven forbid I be a burden to my husband. I debated and danced around and soon I was really breathing through my contractions. FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS. I had this vision in my mind of not being able to get to the hospital and delivering my baby in my friend’s apartment. Not great etiquette. Finally, I gave up and called Jazz at about 4 am. I’ll never forget how he answered the phone.

“(sleepy grumble sleepy) Is it time!?”

“I think so!? You better call my mom.”

Less than 15 minutes later the two of them were on I-5 not speeding. Right mom? Not speeding at all. I knew I was going to eventually need to go to the hospital to be checked so I took a shower. Contractions got worse, so of course I blow dried my hair and put my makeup on. Jazz and my mom were two hours out, and it was starting to look like I was going to need to go to labor and delivery sooner rather than later – while I could still drive. 4:29. 4:35. 4:40. 4:44. OMG I’m going to have to drive myself to the hospital.

“Did you leave yet?”

“No, I’m straightening my hair.”

“Miccolene, GET TO THE HOSPITAL!”

People, you know I wasn’t about to go to the hospital in the middle of the night without getting ready. YOU KNOW THIS. No one wants to deliver a baby looking like a ragamuff. Contractions were coming about 4 minutes apart. Hospital was about 12 minutes away. I could get a lot done in those pain free three minutes between each contraction.

About 5:15 I gently woke up my sweet first born and told her we were taking a special trip to the hospital. She got right up and put her shoes and her coat on, all by herself. I grabbed the juice from the fridge and threw it in the bag, in the process spilling a good 4-5 ounces all over everything. I didn’t have time to clean it up so I threw my stuff in some grocery bags and we were on our way.

The roads were clear at 5:15 and we made it to the hospital in about 15 minutes. I had three contractions on the way, two at red lights and one in the parking garage. Bytheway, the parking garage is seriously four hundred miles away from labor and delivery. Who designed that. I waddled through the halls and had to stop during contractions, Isabelle happily ran beside me in her pajamas and fluffy ponytail. She was so good and obedient, bless her tiny soul. She was rewarded with an endless supply of delicious fruit snacks, which are basically candy for toddlers.

I showed up to the labor and delivery unit at 5:30, carrying two target bags of crap and a toddler in tow. Keepin’ in classy. At least my hair and makeup were done.

In triage I was checked and found to be a 3 plus. I was slightly disappointed, I knew labor could take days and I fully expected them to send me home. Hooked up to the monitors, they could see I was contracting regularly and decided to watch me for a few hours. At about 6:45, my mom and Jazz arrived, breaking all land speed records. I was so happy to see them I almost cried! I was saved. Plus Jazz brought me the latest People magazine.

I contracted and swayed and stood on my toes or WHATEVER felt good for two hours and I was checked again. By some labor miracle, I was a 4. I was actively dilating… and they decided to admit me. One way or another I was going to leave that hospital with a baby in my arms. I was in labor! All by myself! Yeah!

Lincoln Michael

Lincoln Michael Sorensen was born January 14th, 2012 at 2:13 am

7 pounds, 9 ounces, 19 1/2 inches long

We are totally in love.

We are all home and healthy and happy and BOY do I have a story for you!

More to come.