first few days with Thatcher

my whole heart right here!

It's been ten days of JOY and we are home, happy, and recovering. Thatcher is such a sweet and mellow baby, he hardly fusses. He smells so good and his skin is so soft. He is nursing really well and today when I picked him up I gasped at how much heavier he seems already! Recovering from my fourth c-section has been my best yet- I know my OB is just a really good surgeon and that has helped so much- made such a difference in post-partem. I have picked up a few tricks along the way- stay on top of pain meds, stand/walk as soon as possible, and avoid having staples at all costs.

I'm working on little Thatcher's birth story because the whole day was beautiful, one of the most amazing experiences of my life, but it will take me a bit to get it down on paper. It was special. He is special. I can hardly think about it without major tears welling up in my eyes! So many tender mercies and answered prayers that day and the days following.

This morning I packed up my family and sent them all to Disneyland without me. Mixed feelings, obviously, major FOMO because I LOVE disney but also I'm not about to take a newborn to the park while healing from a c-section. I know my boundaries. The kids have been looking forward to this trip for months- with dad and many of their cousins and grandma and grandpa. They are in good capable hands and will have such a fun week. Anyway, while they are gone I'm going to sleep and eat toast and hold my little baby... and catch up on posting.

Here are a few more of Thatcher's first few days at home. We love him so much..it's hard to remember our family before he was here. He has filled some major holes in my heart and continues to be such a little miracle. Babies are miracles! Every single one. Everyone says he looks just like Lincoln- and he does! He really does. But his round little face also reminds me of baby Isabelle sometimes... and his hairline is just like hers. His hair is so light and blonde! Fluffy in the back, I love it so much.

Thatcher, day ten

Sleepy and those CHEEKS!

Big yawn

Isabelle is so happy to have a little baby brother at home to hold. First thing in the morning- she wants to hold him. And as soon as she gets home from school, she wants to hold him again. It's so cute. 

his little lips!

"Mom his head feels like a peach!"

I love when they are all froggy and folded.

a little smile!

and a big smile!

welcome baby

Thatcher James Sorensen

Born September 14th at 1 pm. 

7 pounds, 15.8 ounces, 21 inches long

So perfect. We are in heaven. 

More to come.

here we go.

Well... tomorrows the day. I just packed my hospital bag...the house is spotless...the laundry is done. The fridge is well stocked. These are the perks of a scheduled c-section, I guess. I'm sitting on my couch and this baby is moving all over. Tomorrow I won't be pregnant anymore! I can't wait to see what he looks like! And how much he weighs! I'm guessing right around nine pounds.

I had my pre-op today, surgery is tomorrow at noon. I am feeling all the feelings. I can't believe we are here. I can't believe it after waiting so, so long. I feel so lucky and blessed and HAPPY and nervous and scared and excited. I received a priesthood blessing tonight from my husband and my dad. Peace, comfort, joy- all the things I needed to hear. I can do hard things.

And no matter what happens tomorrow, it's going to be a special day. I just know Max will be with us. I know I'll be a weepy mess. We are so ready. SO ready. We have prepared as best we know how, to the best of our ability, and this is out of our hands.

We welcome you with open arms, little baby. Let's do this.

almost 40 weeks versus 25. big baby.

First day of Preschool

Lincoln has been waiting to start preschool since last May when we spent the day at the facility with his best friend Ryder. He finally got his turn this week. YAY. Really excited is an understatement. I have a parent day at the co-op every Wednesday, so as it happened I got to stay and watch his first day. It was so cute. SO CUTE. All the kids were really happy to be there, running around from thing to thing.

"these are my super fast blue shoes."

"Mom let me show you my pack pack"

Lincoln's favorite part of the preschool is the huge outside area. Swings, jungle gym, a bike path with little helmets. Sand box, water table, paint, etc etc etc. Just so much for their little minds to do. A lot of his little pals from soccer are in this co-op, so he has some friends. And seriously, no one else exists to him besides Ryder.

Snack time.

Marble painting.

last year vs this year. make it stop!

Today was his first day without me there- and as I did the whole "love you, I'll be back in a little bit etc" mom convo he said "Mom, don't worry, I won't miss you." Alright then, kid.

I'm happy we found a place that will be so wonderful for Lincoln. We really loved doing the mom joy school co-op last year, but thought he needed something more formal before kindergarten next fall. (NO. I refuse. He can't go.) I think there is a lot of pressure to have the kids basically kindergarten proficient by the time they turn five and I really like that there is so much social/play time here. I mean, he's FOUR. Let them be little.

He's such a happy kid. Makes me laugh.

counting down

I can count the days on my fingers now. We are really getting close and I am in full on NEST MODE.

PREP FOOD! CLEAN STUFF! ORGANIZE! DO ALL THE THINGS!

In real life I do something small and then I am tired and have to take a break. Regular tasks take me a long time. Even blow drying my hair is a small feat. A big trip to costco last week nearly killed me dead. Putting socks on is just lololol.

I'm feeling like my body is not my own. Having some random contractions, swelling is minimal, I can fit into approximately four of my shirts. I can't remember what it feels like to not be carrying fifty extra pounds or to have to make a three point turn when flipping over in bed.  Which is weird, because when I'm not pregnant I can't remember what it feels like to be THIS pregnant. This baby moves a lot, which I'm sure is a tender mercy just for me. A little "hello, hi, I'm still here" is so comforting. This all feels very deja vu, hard to believe we were doing this all with Max a few years ago. We have a scheduled c-section... at the same place... and the same time... in the same OR with many of the same people. Hard not to feel a little anxious.

It's this weird emotional rollercoaster. I have these moments where I am so happy and excited I just can't WAIT for this baby to be born! And then those fears creep in, the "what ifs", and I panic...It helps me to my little motto this year. "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27. This is all out of my hands.

Other stuff I've been thinking about: how much cookie butter is considered "too much?" What are we going to name this baby!? What am I forgetting to pack? Newborn diapers or size ones? Where is Bitzer going to go while we are in the hospital? Where is that thing I am looking for that I swear I just saw? Is this my last pregnancy? I wish the cesarean wasn't so painful. The recovery is just not my favorite. But this time we will have a baby to bring home, and that is just so worth it. I look at my kids- my big independent kids- and can hardly believe they were once so little and helpless. This morning as I was waking up I could hear them out in the family room, moving around and whispering so they didn't wake us up. Just the best kids ever, we have been so blessed with them. I am most excited to see them meet their little brother. My heart will explode.

People keep asking me if we are ready. How can you ever be truly ready to be responsible for another human, I don't know. I do know I've been pregnant over 100 weeks out of the last three years and by that math, I am ready to not be pregnant. A little bag is packed for the baby. A pile of stuff ready to be packed is set aside for me. I've got a short list of last-minute to-do's to tackle this week- plus Lincoln starts preschool, a few doctors appointments, ballet and piano and regular life stuff. Ten days is going to pass quickly, and then it will be time.